Unknown Snehithan

Standing on a single toe, that's how it will be to be isolated sometimes. When there is no expectations then there will be no pain but after we go through something too good and then when we start expecting something to be atleast better than the time before there comes the cellular devastation. They atleast have anyone to mention as a reason at certain times when we are struggling for survival, then only the worst part comes.. they insult the injury.  "Even if they multiply it be infinity and see the depth of the single part they can't understand anything" Still we love them more than anything, what a waste of fucking life. LOL.

Everytime I hope that I will get better but the truth is I still hoping for that.l to happen in this reality. Some sort of pain is always remains there like the pain underneath the scar, neither it will kill you nor it makes you stronger. We have no idea how to deal with it and conquer it but somehow we are managing with it by imagining that is not there. I don't know when I am going to be better or atleast good but I know that I will suffer till the day it gets better. Considerably, I hope one day everything will be alright :-)

I tried all means... I tried literally everything... I tried, I cried, I mourned... After all the interactions, care, and love that I showered, she still put me down for nothing... The feeling of being not loved in the same way back "weakens the soul". Sometimes it will turn everything to ashes. Into Dust!

I should have died the night when I was with you... I still wish the same.

She regrets the minutes we made love to eachother... What's more painful that knowing this... You could have killed me dear instead you left me starve till I kill myself...

There are times, when you have to stand alone. When you know what you did was right and you're being blamed for that just take step forward and stand alone. Sometimes standing alone will gives us strength to prove us Right! Whatever it takes!

I just want you to own me like you own nothing else...

What I all asked you is a fair chance, I never missed any of my chances... You knew that I am very good at using the opportunities that life give me. It hurts a lot when I sit just like that in pavilion expecting my turn to take a shot but you know... I am not getting my minute to show what I am... Sometimes its not me, its you... You're the one who is denying my fair chances of getting near to you... Yes dear, I am sitting here and tapping instead of holding you in my hand talking all nonsense with you.. Each and every minute passes by, each and everytime I look at my wrist, I know that I missing my chances of being me... Help us my love, I know you're thinking of the same damn thing now.

When I was there you're not in a need of me, with a load of tears I came away now you're telling that you need me... Am I missing to see the beauty in this? Sometimes we are reaching the level where we couldn't even understand what's happening around us but the irony is we created the mess and we are trying hard to understand the way out. Oh man!

In the past few years, we kissed like ... I don't know the count of kisses I received... But... today I got one, that made me feel like I am blessed with this minute... In this painful life of mine, you're the only one making me feel more alive and you're the reason I want to live. I am trying to save you from the wildfire, I should not worry about the burns I am getting. I will turn into ashes if life demands and I promise you the ashes smell just like you. Thank you, my love!

Hey love,  Once this gets over, you will be alone. I know how it will be, I am living in it for ages. Come to me, let's put an end to this. Let's live our dream... Come soon. With love.

I am cursed.

Don't cry looking at my remains... A creator should be happy to see what they have created knowing or unknowingly. I am okay, dear. It's going to be okay soon.

It's 4 am and tears rolling in my ears... I am in this battle knowing that I am losing, losing my self. But my fighting spirit is much stronger than feeling of losing. I am getting cuts and stitching them all on my own, sometimes I think I should leave myself to die with the wounds but I still want to fight for my love. If it is going to be my last breath, I am happy. I am happy that I completely gave myself without expecting anything. I think I should . . .

It is not our decision to be here, it's the decision of the people those who wants us to be here. Dear, I am loosening the hold, it's in your hand now. My existence! When I leave or If I left already, don't worry. You don't need me anymore, I am not your home anymore. If I am wrong, we would have read this together now dear. But the beauty is, I am still alive. I continue to be alive in your memories...

I feel emotionally drowned, all I need is someone who can just sit near me and tell me "okay, I understand how you feel" All the wounds that I have got since my first day are still bleeding with the same smell. It hurts most when I give everything to someone and that someone is not in a situation to understand what I am really doing for them. Still I do not want to hurt my someone in any sort, neither through words nor through my actions. I am writing this with a bleeding eye, one day I will not be sucking oxygen from the atmosphere... I wish, on that day also, my someone should not understand how much pain I have undergone... I really do not want hurt her even after my bleeding eye got rotten. When you read this dear, I am the dust which is rolling along with your tears...